I just need to get this out because I’m tired of dealing with it. I’m tired of being constantly upset and worried about my education. I’m sick of having to fight with people to try to get my future figured out.
I worked SO hard to get into NKU because it was the only school I wanted to go to. It was the only school that I didn’t think was too big or too small and I’m in love with the Theatre program here. I applied for scholarships but I’m mostly drowning in student loans to afford it. Even then, I’m barely scraping by.
Right now, I have gone here a semester and a half. I’m super involved on campus and I couldn’t imagine leaving. Now neither of my parents will sign off on loans for next year because they are both too concerned about the student loans from their own colleges that they are still paying off. Their big solution for me is to drop out and go the local community college. The people that go there, stay in that town for the rest of their lives. I want to make something of myself! I want to be better than where I’m from and I know that if I go there, I won’t be. I’ll be just like everyone else who never leaves and work at a local convenient store and seem perfectly content working my minimum wage job, living a lower class lifestyle. That’s not me. That’s not who I want to be.
Without these loans, I can’t go here. It’s not financially possible. Even if I were to file for financial aid as an independent, it still might not be possible. I don’t have a car or housing to do that anyway. I need a car to get a job to pay for things but I need a job to get a car. It’s a vicious circle.
My boyfriend is telling me to transfer to UC because it’s so much cheaper but I know I wouldn’t be happy. I hate UC’s campus with a passion and honesty just don’t feel comfortable there. NKU is the only college I even applied for because it was the only place I felt I belonged. I still feel that way.
NKU is where I need to be. It’s where I feel like my dreams will come true. But because of all of this, that might not happen and I can’t help but break down every time I think about it or have a conversation about it.
It’s hard to be happy here when you’re just waiting to get it ripped away.